this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."
....but i couldn't pick just one:)

wrong amount of knowledge...

As a medical student I know just enough to scare me.  When something seems off I immediately go to worst case.  It seems that part of being an actual doctor means getting to a place where you know when to worry and when to leave well enough alone. My pregnancy happened to coincide perfectly with our reproductive block in school.  We learned about the thousands of things that can go wrong during each of the stages of your babies development and all of the ways your labor can take a turn for the worse.  I would text my husband almost daily during classed in a complete panic begging for another ultrasound.  Yes, I said another because I had insisted on several.  For example, a babies intestines spend several weeks growing outside of the stomach and at about 10weeks when there is enough room for them go back into the stomach hopefully that is what they do.  SO at 10weeks I had to make sure that our little ones intestines were exactly where they were supposed to be.  Thomas said ultrasounds were supposed to be a fun exciting event but he would spend the entire time stressed because he knew I was inspecting every inch of our baby for something to be wrong.  I would count vertebra, and ventricles, look at heart valves and chambers and still no peace of mind.  When Everett was born I cannot even begin to describe to relief to see his perfect little form.  Growing a person is an unbelievable thing.  There are countless ways for things to go wrong that are completely out of our control and only one way for them to all go right... and they do!  Most of the time everything goes exactly as it should and this still blows my mind.  So today when our sitter casually mentioned that Everett had not really had a good bowel movement my mind immediately went to the various forms of GI obstruction that occur in newborns.  So far Everett has been the king of bowel movements, for him to go most of the day without one is unusual.  I had to fight the urge to call a friend who is one of the best pediatric critical care docs I know and insist on abdominal imaging.  Luckily I made no such call because with a huge grin Everett filled his pants like a champ.  Leave it to my boy for his first real big smile to be a "haha mom here is that poop you wanted!"  Hopefully someday I will have enough knowledge to know when not to worry....

Here are some pictures of us working on our smile. Sorry they are a little fuzzy we were too excited about our farts to stay still!

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Burns, party of three!

39 wks and ready!

When I went in for my 39wk OB visit I told the doc I was ready to have this baby.  The man and I had spent a couple of days hiking around at home (the mountains of western NC) & my spring break was ending on Monday.  I needed to be able to settle in and start studying for the first step of my medical boards in July.  Not to mention by this point I was feeling huge, needing to run and ready to reclaim my body.  The doctor told me we would wait out the weekend and if I had not had him then we would talk about inducing on Tuesday.  Having a plan and feeling like I knew when the baby would come was very appealing to my need for scheduling and organizing, just not knowing when he would come was really making me crazy.  On Friday night we went to the movies and made fun plans for the rest of the weekend, including fancy easter brunch at American Grocery Restaurant in Greenville, SC. 

At 2am on Saturday morning I started having what I told the man was stomach cramps.  I had a stomach bug a few days before and was convinced this was just more GI distress. Yes, I was in total denial.  By 6am I was still having stomach pain when Thomas looked at me and said "seriously Jamie, stomach cramps every 6min?  Can we please call the hospital?"  I reluctantly agreed.  Being a medical student I was terrified of going to the hospital and telling them I was in labor only to have them tell me I was actually just having gas.   I will be rotating at this hospital in the fall and did not want to be the future doctor that does not know the difference between contractions and gas!  When I talked to the on-call nurse she she said "so you are due now and having contractions every 6min?  Yes, you are probably in labor and can go ahead and come to the hospital."  I still was not convinced but I told her we would start to make our way there.  With the hospital being so close to our house I did not feel very rushed yet.  At this point the contractions were not very intense.  Instead of rushing to the hospital I asked Thomas to vacuum and clean the kitchen.  If we were going to have a new baby I did not want to bring him home to a dirty kitchen.  Funny the things that go through your head in those moments.  2hrs later we made our way to the hospital.  On the drive over I told Thomas we should go through the Starbucks drive-through because it would be a while before he would be able to get a cup of coffee & food.  Little did I know at the drive through window I would have my first serious contraction.  When the girl handed Thomas his coffee and said his sandwich would be a few minutes, it was all I could do not to yell at her that we were in a rush!  Finally at 9am we made it to the hospital. We were put in an evaluation room where they decide if your labor has progressed enough to be admitted to the hospital.  Normally you are in this room for about an hour.  After first hour the nurse came in and explained to us that we had not been admitted yet because I was having contractions but not cervical changes, which is the definition of true labor, having both contractions and dilation.  Also she said the baby is not moving as much as they would like for him to be.  They asked when my last meal had been and I could feel Thomas roll his eyes at this.  I am, admittedly, really bad at food.  I do not eat regular meals and I can go a while between meals, I just get distracted and forget.  When we told the nurse the last time I ate was 6pm  the night before I could feel her holding in a laugh.  "Of course your baby is not moving very much, your blood sugar is too low!"  She brought me a giant orange juice that I gulped down and it felt like junior started doing jumping jacks.  After 2 hrs in this room the nurse came back and said if I had not started to dilate they were going to have Thomas take me for a walk.  This was the first, and only, time that I laughed.  The distress on Thomas' face at the suggestion of taking me for a walk, while I was curled up in a ball sobbing, was priceless.  He is too nice to say it but I could see him sending mental messages to the nurse of 'I dont think so' or 'are you for real?"  I have never begged, literally begged, to be admitted to the hospital before.  Thankfully this time I was in fact actually "in labor."  Up until this point I had said I was not going to have an epidural, I know everyone has an opinion about pain management during labor, after having been in the situation I will have to say to each their own.  At this point I would have agreed to anything that would lessen the pain, I honestly did't think I would make it through the rest of the day and then still have enough energy to push.

By 11:30, having been admitted and transfered into the delivery room, the nurse anesthetist came with the epidural.  I told her she was my new best friend.  I even think I said I was going to quit medical school and be a pharmaceutical rep for epidurals.  By around noon when the epidural kicked in, it was a different world.  Basically, the epidural made my body not hurt as much, without affecting me mentally or making me feel drugged in the least.  For a few hours, we were in our nice cozy delivery room watching the NCAA tournament.  Eventually the nurse came in and told me were going to start pushing a little, so I did.  A little while later the doc came in, and said "looks like this baby will be here in about 20 minutes."  Sure enough, that's about how much longer it took.  Little Everett came out kickin', eyes wide open, and ready to go.  We were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby boy.  

40wks

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

this moment

{this moment} - "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

so you want to be a doctor....

medical school is hard.  i know, thank you captain obvious.  but seriously, going into it you know that, everyone tells you that, you expect it, yet it still hits you every day just how hard it is.  we are heading into the final stretch of year two and I will be pretty glad to finish this chapter.  i try not wish my time away but this one is difficult.  at the end of year two we take step one of our medical school boards.  yes, step one, meaning that there are multiple board exams that we get to take and this is the first one.  we are constantly tested in medical and somehow no matter how much or hard you study there is always more to know.  this test comes with an increasing amount of pressure.  i am constantly reminded of how important this result is.  i must first pass step one to be allowed to continue to third year, a given, but also it is this early in the process, just half way through school, that much of our path as a physician is decided.  the score on this one test will play a role in what my options for residency are.  it is a cloud constantly hanging over my head.  over the next two weeks we have 6 tests in various classes mostly focused on different aspects of hematology and I try to stay focused on these exams, looking at them as studying for step one, but in the back of my mind all i can think about is BOARDS!  after these tests we have spring break and the debate among my classmates: to study or relax?  we know that the following three months will be nothing but intense study, can we afford a week to prepare our minds for that?  for me the question is complicated by the fact that i am currently 36 weeks pregnant!  yep, we are having a baby!  so my spring break plan.... have this baby!  people keep asking me if I have my hospital bag packed yet... nope; do i have the nursery ready....nope; do i have a birth plan.... um.... have the baby at the hospital; but i do know a lot about red blood cells....

wife, 3 sweet dogs, a little boy on the way, and medical school.  i am a very lucky girl.  this year will be about balance.  balance between my home life and school.  we (the man and I) have a ton to figure out about the next year with him working full time and me starting my 3rd year of medical school but for now one day at a time.